i honestly have so many things to do on such short notice and shouldn't be blogging but i had too much on my mind.. so i decided to give myself a break and write what's in my head.
i'm working on our wedding website and i needed a picture of dennis so i decided to go through all my old photos and i came across some videos of james that i never really got to look at, and there were videos of him trying to walk. the first couple of videos he's just crawling and making us all laugh by doing baby things like being curious. after that video played, the next couple of video clips were of him gradually trying to walk.. he would stand, maintain his balance and try to walk, but fail. but all of a sudden, he walks. he takes 1 step, then 2... and after a couple of more videos later, he's walking.
when did this all happen? why do i only vaguely remember all of this? did this really happen in the blink of an eye? why does time have to pass by so quickly?
i know the past couple of my posts were about how he's growing up way too fast.. but it's true. that's the only thing i can think about these days. everyday he's learning something new, and it just amazes me how he absorbs so many things and catch on so quickly. all i know is that in my heart no matter how old he gets, he will still always be my little baby.
okay.. i'll stop being so emo and get back to work.. or actually i think i might just go to bed! cuddle with my little one. <3 good night everyone!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
frustrated.
today.. was a very frustrating day for me. it was one of those days where you just want to cry endlessly, or leave everything behind and disappear for one day to have some time for yourself. as i was folding the laundry i really tried to fight back the tears from rolling down my eyes because i couldn't help but to feel so annoyed at the never ending chores. then it hit me again - "wow. this is my life now.. taking care of my family, chores after chores.. when will i ever have time for myself?" i'm pretty sure at the moment i was over exaggerating due to my feelings but regardless, i was exhausted.
i finally finished folding my laundry and had to put james to bed. as i was putting him to bed, he was babbling.. probably talking to me about his day and what not but honestly, i was so tired i wanted to fall asleep with him but i couldn't - i just had so many things to do. i came out after putting him down, and ate a late dinner with my husband while watching the last half of "olympus has fallen". as we were watching, james woke up crying so i had to go soothe him.. sigh.. still.. exhausted. finally i decided to work on some stuff on the internet, and james woke up again. this time, i decided to let him be but he cried for a couple of minutes so i eventually gave in and decided to go in. as soon as i went in james stopped crying and went right back to sleep. right before i left i decided to check his diaper and it was full, so i turned on the night light. as the light grew brighter i saw my baby sleeping so peacefully.
is that all he wanted? did he just need to feel secure? was he scared in the dark? maybe that's why he cried for me. all of my feelings went away in almost a split second. as i was watching him sleep i still couldn't that he was mine. my baby. there are so many times when i look at him and it just seems like a dream. his eyes.. his nose, his cheeks and his beautiful lips. how can they all be so precious? wait.. am i really a mother?
when i was pregnant with james i was honestly scared. scared because i knew that being a mother comes with multiple responsibilities. and i know that in the back of my head, i will still be scared no matter how old he is. but i realized that everything that i do, everything that i work for.. it's all for him, and since he is my responsibility and i need to make sure that he is in good hands, and in order for me to do that i have to be strong. like i said in my previous posts, being a mother is probably the hardest job on this world.. but i wouldn't change it for the world.
my pride and joy... my little james. mommy loves you so much.
i finally finished folding my laundry and had to put james to bed. as i was putting him to bed, he was babbling.. probably talking to me about his day and what not but honestly, i was so tired i wanted to fall asleep with him but i couldn't - i just had so many things to do. i came out after putting him down, and ate a late dinner with my husband while watching the last half of "olympus has fallen". as we were watching, james woke up crying so i had to go soothe him.. sigh.. still.. exhausted. finally i decided to work on some stuff on the internet, and james woke up again. this time, i decided to let him be but he cried for a couple of minutes so i eventually gave in and decided to go in. as soon as i went in james stopped crying and went right back to sleep. right before i left i decided to check his diaper and it was full, so i turned on the night light. as the light grew brighter i saw my baby sleeping so peacefully.
is that all he wanted? did he just need to feel secure? was he scared in the dark? maybe that's why he cried for me. all of my feelings went away in almost a split second. as i was watching him sleep i still couldn't that he was mine. my baby. there are so many times when i look at him and it just seems like a dream. his eyes.. his nose, his cheeks and his beautiful lips. how can they all be so precious? wait.. am i really a mother?
when i was pregnant with james i was honestly scared. scared because i knew that being a mother comes with multiple responsibilities. and i know that in the back of my head, i will still be scared no matter how old he is. but i realized that everything that i do, everything that i work for.. it's all for him, and since he is my responsibility and i need to make sure that he is in good hands, and in order for me to do that i have to be strong. like i said in my previous posts, being a mother is probably the hardest job on this world.. but i wouldn't change it for the world.
my pride and joy... my little james. mommy loves you so much.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
juneeee!
happy june! another long overdue post.. sorry i've been so MIA.. lots of things have been going on and i've been pushing this to the side :( SORRY!
so i've been working two days - and i love it! it's such a thrill to get back to work.. and it's a nice refresher to get out of the house~ i think it's a really great opportunity and i'm really excited.
we finally purchased the package for our wedding.. it includes 80% of our wedding stuff like the wedding dress(es), photoshoot.. etc, etc.. the only thing i have to worry about is the flowers, dj/mc and the lighting. i'm SO happy that we got this out of our way because i realized i only have 7 months til our wedding and i literally had nothing done. but now i feel like now that i got the contract signed, i can finally start to plan.
james is not a "baby" anymore! :( he's growing up so fast i'm really sad! haha.. he's been imitating us a lot recently and it's kinda amusing to see~~ :) he's def. more social but still isn't saying words, but is pointing at things and babbling! i was actually thinking about how he grew so fast today.. i don't even remember how he started to crawl. :( i wish he can stay this little forever but i know it's not possible.. haha *sigh* oh - and he also waves and goes "haa" when we see him and "baaa" when we're about to leave.. lol it's so hard to go out when i see him at the balcony door waving at me! ahhhhhhhhh.. i love him too much~
so i've been working two days - and i love it! it's such a thrill to get back to work.. and it's a nice refresher to get out of the house~ i think it's a really great opportunity and i'm really excited.
we finally purchased the package for our wedding.. it includes 80% of our wedding stuff like the wedding dress(es), photoshoot.. etc, etc.. the only thing i have to worry about is the flowers, dj/mc and the lighting. i'm SO happy that we got this out of our way because i realized i only have 7 months til our wedding and i literally had nothing done. but now i feel like now that i got the contract signed, i can finally start to plan.
james is not a "baby" anymore! :( he's growing up so fast i'm really sad! haha.. he's been imitating us a lot recently and it's kinda amusing to see~~ :) he's def. more social but still isn't saying words, but is pointing at things and babbling! i was actually thinking about how he grew so fast today.. i don't even remember how he started to crawl. :( i wish he can stay this little forever but i know it's not possible.. haha *sigh* oh - and he also waves and goes "haa" when we see him and "baaa" when we're about to leave.. lol it's so hard to go out when i see him at the balcony door waving at me! ahhhhhhhhh.. i love him too much~
i uploaded a video of james laughing.. something almost exactly similar to this one about a year ago but he looks like a different person!
his new hobby - walking backwards
Monday, May 13, 2013
long overdue update
hi all, sorry i haven't been blogging recently! so much has been going on, and i was putting this to the side! anyways, the past month.. sooo many things has happened! first off, i turned 27!! (yay) haha. i think i officially stopped celebrating after 25. maybe i'll do something big at 30.. but after 25, i feel like it's the same. :\ so on my birthday hubby took me out for a nice dinner, and honestly we're just trying to save up for our upcoming wedding ceremony next year that we're trying to budget~ i was just happy to spend some time with him alone~ :)
i've also been going on interviews left and right because i really want to start working again, and it's been tough because i haven't heard back from most of them... until!! i finally got a job! i'm actually really excited to work because i've been seeing listings on craigslist for this job and i thought it'd be really cool if i worked there.. i did apply to a couple but never heard back from them until last week.. and i got the job! i'll be working for equinox as an esthetician. i was surprised that they have a spa, but it looks really nice and i'm super happy that i'm going to start working again.
yesterday was mothers day- happy late mothers day to all you mothers out there! i think being a mother will be the toughest job i ever have. honestly i still look at my baby and sometimes i think to myself, "is this real..?" sometimes it just all seems like a dream. everyday he surprises me with the way he thinks and with his actions and i can't believe he's growing up so fast. i remember the first two months i was such a mess.. i didn't even have any time to eat or shower because i had no idea what to do with the baby and everything was so new to me, but if i had to do it all over again i definetely would. i know it's only been almost a year and a half since he's been brought into this world, but i'm SO curious for what the future has for him and want to fast forward so i can take a little sneak peak at it, but on the other hand i want time to pause or be in slow motion because i literaly want to cherish all this time i have with him.
i know that it will only get harder and there will be major obsticals i have to overcome to become a better mother.. but james has taught me that there are no limits when it comes down to him. now i know how my mom feels about her children and what she had to go through.. all the sacrifices she made for us.. i truely admire her and i'm so blessed to have a role model like her. it must've been so hard raising a wild child like me~ haha :P
love you mom. i love you so much. you are my best friend, and my back bone. thank you for your unconditional love and always supporting me in whatever i do. the love and respect i have for you.. words cannot express. love you love you LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!! <3
i've also been going on interviews left and right because i really want to start working again, and it's been tough because i haven't heard back from most of them... until!! i finally got a job! i'm actually really excited to work because i've been seeing listings on craigslist for this job and i thought it'd be really cool if i worked there.. i did apply to a couple but never heard back from them until last week.. and i got the job! i'll be working for equinox as an esthetician. i was surprised that they have a spa, but it looks really nice and i'm super happy that i'm going to start working again.
yesterday was mothers day- happy late mothers day to all you mothers out there! i think being a mother will be the toughest job i ever have. honestly i still look at my baby and sometimes i think to myself, "is this real..?" sometimes it just all seems like a dream. everyday he surprises me with the way he thinks and with his actions and i can't believe he's growing up so fast. i remember the first two months i was such a mess.. i didn't even have any time to eat or shower because i had no idea what to do with the baby and everything was so new to me, but if i had to do it all over again i definetely would. i know it's only been almost a year and a half since he's been brought into this world, but i'm SO curious for what the future has for him and want to fast forward so i can take a little sneak peak at it, but on the other hand i want time to pause or be in slow motion because i literaly want to cherish all this time i have with him.
i know that it will only get harder and there will be major obsticals i have to overcome to become a better mother.. but james has taught me that there are no limits when it comes down to him. now i know how my mom feels about her children and what she had to go through.. all the sacrifices she made for us.. i truely admire her and i'm so blessed to have a role model like her. it must've been so hard raising a wild child like me~ haha :P
love you mom. i love you so much. you are my best friend, and my back bone. thank you for your unconditional love and always supporting me in whatever i do. the love and respect i have for you.. words cannot express. love you love you LOVE you!!!!!!!!!!! <3
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
happy april!!!!!!!!!!!
it's already april!!!! which means... it's my birthday month!!!!!!! HEHE... okay. i shouldn't be too excited.. i'm turning 27! >_< ha.....
i'm gonna cry myself to sleep now... :( haha jk!
okay so all jokes aside.. i'm just hoping for the weather to get warmer so i can take my little james out to the park! this is the part where i wish i was in california again.. o man.. withdrawals. i've been begging dennis for another trip.. but it's just not realistic with our wedding coming up.. hopefully though i can find some excuse to travel again! :P
i'm gonna cry myself to sleep now... :( haha jk!
okay so all jokes aside.. i'm just hoping for the weather to get warmer so i can take my little james out to the park! this is the part where i wish i was in california again.. o man.. withdrawals. i've been begging dennis for another trip.. but it's just not realistic with our wedding coming up.. hopefully though i can find some excuse to travel again! :P
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| i miss this so much already! hanging out with our loved ones in a beautiful city.. wahhhhhh :( |
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