Friday, January 27, 2012

3 weeks postpartum

being a mom is.. hard. haha i knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it's hard. i mean, it's getting better.. but sometimes i really want to rip my hair out~

i just need to sleep...

even though he frustrates the hell out of me from time to time... i still love being a mom. :) he's just too CUTE!

i guess i have to wait until he's on a schedule so it'll be easier for me. til then, i will still cherish these moments i have with my lovely son. <3

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

eek! sorry for the late birthday post!



but happy birthday, MOM!! the most beautiful woman in the world. you are the strongest, thoughtful, loving, genuine person i know and i honestly don't know how you do all the things that you do. you are the ultimate supermom. i love you so much! thank you for always taking my side, and in my eyes you will always be 35! :)<3

Monday, January 16, 2012

January 6, 2012.. 8:02am

the long anticipated wait is over. baby James is here!! :) and he is SO ADORABLE... (not just cause he's my baby) but seriously! i cannot get enough of him! he's so funny.. sometimes the nurse comes to take him to the nursery and they always talk about how peaceful and quiet he is when he is back in the room with us because once he's in the nursery he is supposedly the biggest cry baby! loll.. and we hear him crying too while he's on his way here but once he's a couple of feet away from us the crying just stops.

my labor story-
i was originally going to deliver at north shore manhasset (because their recovery rooms are banging.. private room suites and recently renovated- and it's much closer to my house) but apparently they don't induce labor until you're 41 weeks and 6 days. crazy right? well last tuesday i was at 40 weeks and 2 days when i went to go see my gyno. we had discussed and agreed to get an induction because they've been monitoring me, and by the way things were looking, i wasn't going to have a spontaneous labor. so she suggested that i get induced on sunday, but my husband asked if there was any advantages of waiting.. and she said no, so we just agreed to get induced that night. there was no way i was going to wait til almost 42 weeks just to be in a "nice hospital"! i couldn't risk it.. and my baby would've been almost 9 pounds!honestly i just wanted it to be over already~

so we went home, ate some sam gae tang and started packing~ i felt so many different things while i was packing. i was nervous, scared, excited, anxious... omg. but i remember whlie we were heading to the hospital i was just scared. scared of everything.. scared of being in labor, giving birth, raising this baby, wondering if i'll be a good mother or not.. wow. so anyways, we pulled up to the hospital, and it was nothing compared to LIJ or manhasset- it was this tiny hospital!

we walked in and went straight to the admission office. to be honest, the lady was a little bit bitchy.. but whatevers. she had me fill out some papers, and then she escorted us to the 2nd floor where the maternity ward is. we walked into the labor and delivery section but i had to stay at the traige room because all of the l&d rooms were taken (they only have three). at the triage room they made me change, and finally got the cervadil. they told me it was going to take about 12 hours for the cervix to soften up, and that i might need another one afterwards depending on how i progress. two hours later we finally got a room, and that's where we stayed for about two nights. the next morning, the dr. came and she told me that i can finally have some "real lunch", because i had to be in the "clear liquid diet" again for another 12 hours- they wanted to do another dose? of cervadil. GREAT! ugh. another 12 hours.. sometime during those 12 hours, i was finally feeling the contractions, and i didn't want to ask for the epidural so they gave me some medication that was going to make me feel "drowsy". DROWSY!?? i knocked out completely for a good 5-6 hours LOL! i had no idea what was going on. apparently they took out the cervadil too and i really wasn't aware of it. so i fell back asleep and around 3-4 my doctor came into check me. that's when my water broke! finally at around 6am they injected the pitocin into the IV. a couple of hours later i couldn't tolerate the "little pain" anymore so..
 i asked for the epidural LOL~ it did wonders for a bit until it hit 1am.. the epidural wore off.

i started feeling everything.. it was just getting worse and worse. every minute seemed like an hour. they did give me some temporary pain relief medication but that wore off every hour and a half. i had to do this until 7am.. at 7am i couldn't take it anymore. everything just wore off completely and i started feeling the pressure. the doctor came in and checked and she said i was still only 7 cm's. i told her i felt like i had to push.. but she told me i couldn't. it was getting so intense, and the pain that i felt... was unbearable. i couldn't control it anymore and i was loosing it mentally. i tried to stay focused throughout the contractions but it was just too intense. i literally felt like as if an elephant was stomping on my uterus. i wanted to scream but i knew i shouldn't, and also knew it wasn't going to help. my doctor looked at me and she said she'd be right back because she needed to think. i really wanted to throw something at her at the moment. i was like "WTF U MEAN THINK!?!? IM IN PAIN RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!" lol~ she came back and told me that.. at this point we'd have to do a section. only because it's been 24 hours since my water broke, and i was stuck at 7cm's for hours.. James just didn't want to come out. honestly i couldn't even think when she told me that. i remember thinking to myself "okay lady if you're going to do it, do it now because i know there's going to be some anesthesiologist there who can help me with my PAIN!!!!!!!!!" so yeah. the pain got to me and i agreed. i mean.. what choice did i really have? she told me that she literally felt the baby's head, but i wasn't fully dilated, and my water broke 24 hours ago. i looked at Dennis and he looked... worried.. worried but supportive. i will never forget the look he had on his face.

they gave him a cap and a gown to wear in the surgery room and told him he'll be allowed into the OR after i get the spinal. so the spinal... made my whole lower body numb and THANK GOD IT DID!!!! but it came with this side effect which made my whole body COLD. i was literally shivering and my teeth were chattering. Dennis finally came in and he told me that everything will be okay. i'm SO glad he was with me the whole entire time.. he was my support system. i didn't feel the pain much, but i felt them pulling and tugging. lots of pressure, but no pain. finally i heard the doctor saying "8:02 AM!" and then i heard my baby cry............ then i hear Dennis.. he tells me he'll be right back and he goes to the baby. he tells me that he has sucha strong grip and i'm just wondering how my baby is. he finally brought James over and he was beautiful. i was so relieved in many ways.. relieved that he was healthy, had 10 fingers and toes, that he was crying, that everything was finally over..

the surgery itself took about an hour, and i was finally getting transferred into the recovery room. we stayed there for an hour, and after getting checked we were transferred to the postpartum room. i think plainview has around 12 rooms altogether? and most of them are double beds, but they're never full so they usually give one room to each patient. the first room we got was big, but we had to share the bathroom with our next door neighbor so we asked if we can change rooms to a private one when it was available. while waiting for our room we had our first visitor- James! he's Dennis' best friend and he came all the way from jersey to long island to see us. how nice! :) not too long after Dennis' parents came by as well. i finally got to eat REAL FOOD after HOURS of not being able to eat, and oh my... i went all out. haha~ i wasn't supposed to but i couldn't help it! =(

we finally got our private room and it was much smaller than the one we were staying in before, but it was cozy. the one thing i reallly liked about this hospital was the hospitality. oh my.. the nurses here with their TLC.. is beyond nuts. they were so accommodating, answered ALL of our questions, got us anything we needed and you could tell that they genuinely cared. the food was really good as well! every morning they have this breakfast buffet and usually we wouldn't be able to wake up for it, but baby James did us a favor and woke us up to eat. haha~ we also got this "rendezvous dinner" on our last night at the hospital which consisted of cocktail shrimp, ny strip steak, salad and a cheesecake for two! it tasted delicious. i really miss the people there..

anyways, this whole experience was overall.. unexplainable. from the moment i found i was pregnant, the days i used to count down from my first, second to third trimester, watching my belly grow, feeling him hiccuping and moving inside of me.. the baby shower, decorating his nursery, trying to distinguish who he looks like by looking at the sonogram pictures, to the actual labor and giving birth to him. sigh........... i will cherish those 9 precious months and will never forget it. it was truly a blessing and now that chapter has closed in my life.. but a new chapter has begun. i am beyond excited for what the future has for our family and i am SO thankful and lucky to have him in our arms.

our little gift from God... mommy and daddy will always be there for you and will love you always. even though you keep mommy up at night i wouldn't trade it for the world. i know there might be times where you might disagree with what we say or might even hate us but trust me James.. it's for your own goods. mommy and daddy knows best!! but whatever the situation is, we will always be on your side no matter what.

pregnancy blog.. the end.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

my last pregnancy post...

oh man. what an exciting 9 months it has been... tonight i'm going in for induction since James is too comfortable in there.. and the doctor doesn't think he'll come out spontaneously. =( we've waited and waited but she said that there won't be an advantage of having him out now so... we're getting him out now!!!! LOL~

man at first i was a nervous wreck but now i'm slowly realizing that this is what we've waited for. i'm so excited and i cannot wait to hug him and kiss him.. and maybe spoil him as well. a new chapter of our lives...

pregnancy- you've been reallllllly good to me. i appreciate it. thanks for not giving me any morning sickness, or crazy cravings at 5am. although waking up to pee every 2 hours kinda sucked, i cannot complain. thanks for not giving me any stretch marks, and also not making me into a crazy moody person. you were the best first experience ever!!!!!

James- we've waited so long for this moment! i can't believe in less than 48 hours we'll be able to see you!!! :) you and i are gonna be champs and we're going to finish this like a bawse. puahaha. mommy will try to be superwoman throughout this process. :) anyways, everyone is patiently waiting for your arrival... can't wait to see you little man!!!!!!! love you always.

Dennis- thank you for being extra supportive the past 9 months.. you're the greatest, and i wouldn't have been able to do it without you... (even though in a couple of hours everything might be your fault =x) i love you with all my heart and i'm so excited for our future!!!! we're going to be awesome parents, and i'm even though we might f up here and there.. don't worry! everyone makes mistakes, right? :)

the Parks & the Yims- i seriously love you guys<3 sorry dad for always pmsing on you, and taking my frustration out on you... same goes for you mommy. :( i remember the day i told my mom i was shitting bricks. i literally thought she was going to like disown me, but instead she laughed and congratulated me. i thought my dad wasn't going to talk to me for the rest of my life, but instead he also laughed it off and was so eager to see this baby. :*)
thank you unnie & oppa for being supportive and always giving us advice and tips on how to raise the baby :)<3 i'm so excited for the kids as well! :) love you guys!
the YIms- i don't even want to call them my in-laws, they're like my family now.. love you guys, and thank you for everything.. and when i mean everything i literally  mean everything. <3

okay,... now it's time to finish packing my hospital bag, and off to the hospital we go. wish us luck guys!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012


it's the first day of the new year! i can't believe it's already 2012~ so many things happened in 2011, and i'll have to admit.. most of them was a life changing experience, but i wouldn't change it for the world!

here's a recap of what happened in 2011:
- we started our new life in silver spring, maryland
- landed an awesome job @ downtown silver spring
- got pregnant!
- got married to the love of my life<3
- got another family who i love~
- moved back to NY

thought we'd have the baby in 2011 but i guess he wants to make a grand appearance in 2012. i believe he's going to start our new years right! :)

regardless, i am ready for 2012! life is full of surprises.. and who doesn't like surprises? ;)

have a great 2012 everyone!!!!!!